Time flies when your having fun! Don't you just love when the grandchildren's visit as it always reminds you just how amazing it is to be a mother. The full days of holding down being everything to everybody and surviving. Yeah! What a feeling, it may not be as glamourous as it sounds. As being a parent grandparent your still a parent and Lord knows that it isn't always easy but it's most definitely worth it!
Parenting today compared to yester year is so different in more ways then one. Coming into the virtual world it's not always easy keeping our children safe and free from harm but when harm comes into through our educational system's that where the since of urgency kicks in. Yes! It's a horrible thing to put children and parents in such a traumatic experience. Just the idea of it all just hits you right in the gut let alone ones mental state of being. As we are going into the summer season many children hopefully will partake in summer learning activities over their break. Parents will probably worry about the food and drinks provided to the children during their summer programs after this year’s bad milk episode. Parent will either educate their children on bad drinks and food or sacrifice funds to ensure the children know what they have to eat through packing breakfast lunch and snacks to fill them for each day or send monetary gifts to ensure the children will have access to purchase food and drinks to eat.
Depending on the age of the children some may find themselves being responsible people while their parents continue to work. Learning the important skills of life and keeping up the home, preparing light meals and doing laundry all good skills to learn over time that will last them a life time. Weather the children are home, with a care giver or in a summer program the children will make sure they have the best summer experience they can with major incidents we pray. As sometimes children left to their own will allows them an opportunity to show just how responsible they are and may possibly lead to entry into more things that can help prepare them for when they begin the phase of living interdependent of their parents. Earning money through payment of chores, or part-time or full-time employment as well as some are learning entrepreneurs skills that will carry them much further in life while teaching life lessons along the way.
It’s amazing that today we have so many options for our children as we teach them the importance of their education as well as learning how to adapt to the work environment while some are learning to think for themselves and create the life they so desire or begin the journey of what life will look like for them as they are growing. What an amazing life journey to have would you agree? Having options to share with our young people today. Some will attempt and not complete due to distraction and some will utilize the time to have something to talk about with their friends and classmates when school resumes.
One thing for sure this time of youth adolescence and young adulthood time travel goes pretty quickly especially when your a hustling family. As parents we spend more time at work during regular hours and sometimes pull extra hours because they are available as staff will be taking time to travel the USA or abroad, some may just state local and check out the local activities and events but whichever one decides to do with their time, family and growth of their family is a personal matter and choice. No one can judge as we as parents all have some sort of hypothesis as to how we think our children will fair growing and who we think they will be as they are growing up into adulthood.
Do we expect to much of our children? Or are we cutting them some slack because we don’t want to be our parents? It’s a possibility that there could be a combination of the two. In some ways we want the structure and discipline provided to us from our parents to be passed down to our children and then the other we want to allow them space to grow into who they are becoming without fear and or judgment. It’s often hard to balance the two because if you go to hard you could lose them and if your to easy you could lose them. Where is the happy medium? Allowing our children to speak their mind in the proper tone is healthy as long as they know that their opinion’s are taken into consideration but the parents will have the final say as to the well-being and health and welfare of the family as a whole. Having rules in place helps a lot when rearing children because it provides the a frame work in which they get to become the best version of themselves they can be. This becomes more challenging as they grow and experience other children.
We like to think that every house hold in America is a safe space for our children and that every parent wants the same thing for their children and this could not be more far from the truth. Without being judge mental and sharing just some of the different types of parenting styles that are out there one has to be very careful whom the allow their children to surround themselves with. Which is why most parents opt for the children to gather at their homes so they not only get to know the children that are around their children but get a sense of the home environment they come from if they have not already established a working relationship with the other parents. Which more and more appears to be rear as many parents barely have time to spend with their children let alone get to know the children they surround themselves with yet they make a way because they care not only for the welfare of their own children but the welfare of the other children as well that some how becomes like your own children especially when they gather at your home.
When your rearing children it’s good to know the laws in place to prevent any unwanted fines and or court ordered penalties that can surround children gathering in a home. During the hours of school and during the summer as things can possibly go wrong should they decide to not follow the rules and most house rules for most homes are no one in or out of the home when the parents and or responsible party of the household is not at home or even if they are home. As parents it’s are job to ensure we are not encouraging underage drinking and or drug use which are major worry for parents. Are my children at risk and if so what steps can a parent take to ensure that this is not taking place in their home under their supervision.
Parents are fined when children don’t attend school regularly or not at all. They are fined when children are drinking in their home or partying without concern of the noise ordnance just to name a few. For the most part parents expect the children to experiment but with open communication and paying attention to your children’s behaviors. This can be hard if you are not aware of what to look for or if you have a child that has changed up their movement, habits and activities. As a parent sometimes you can feel like the parent, social worker, police officer, guidance counselor, nurse, driving, and the list can go on and on and it really depends on the parenting style the intensity of the parenting skills one may have. Education level plays a part as well as economic status and the environment of the geographical area one lives.
There’s never really a tail tail sign of the risk factors our children will fall prey to and as parents our job is to make them aware of all the dangers that exist without causing fear or shear terror but enough so they can make good decisions when out of your company or come across someone that is either in their circle of friends and or family. That’s just be honest protecting our children is a job that will never end. As they become adults we still want to parent and do for the most part it’s just done in another manner from when they were younger.
What’s the parenting deal breakers for you? Do you know your parenting style? Is your parenting style impacted by the way you were reared your children? What are some of the dangers of risk within your community and surrounding area that concerns you when it comes to your children?
Should your child not return home on time or your unable to located them what would be your first point of contact in finding them? Did you know that there are children on the streets in city’s, towns, metropolitan area that are living on the street and no one has ever reported them missing? Crazy right? How does one have a responsibility of a child and or children and not report when they do not report back to the home over 24 hours or longer? This information is very heart breaking when it was reported by authorities and it’s not just happening in the inner Cities. Most parents would lose it after the child is at least 15 to 20 minutes pass their curfew in a panic contacting the children and or parents of the children the child stated they would be or program and or job. Working in the fields of human services in the areas of law enforcement, child welfare, education, juvenile corrections, probation, the judicial system. One can say our parenting is very different and our children are allowed some liberties but are limited and restricted because of what many in the field see, hear and experience and believe me when you go home to your family and all is well your very grateful and appreciative of your family most times. This doesn’t mean that those in the field don’t have issues with child rearing it just means that our knowledge base and experience and stories make you look at life different than those who may not be aware or knowledge of the fields of work.
So how do we begin to bring change to our homes if needed and our communities as we are building towards better? Some will say provide more jobs but we know that in the inner cities companies come but don’t have jobs for those that live in the community. Some offer training and others are seeking experts in the industry or line of work. Very few residents within the community actually obtain employment in these solutions to making the communities better.
Most times these companies come to the inner city and already have the jobs filled and residents have to wait until they have an opening that many of them will not be selected to fill. There’s always issues around community development and growth and it’s disparities. Yet how are we as parents ensuring that our youth are eligible for such opportunities in the community?
The summer programs are great and they hire our youth to help mentor and teach the young children in the program. There was a time when communities kept youth programs going but that has seemed to thin out and with the issues of children’s ability to listen follow direction be respectful and abide by the rules govern through the program is just as important as worker safety is really a thing today. Children are hurting other children and the staff responsible for them. Children have spacial needs and my require more help and due to staff shortages and large turn over in these lines of work it’s getting harder to identify what one can call the right fit and person that can not only do the job but excel in the position and you see the results in the children.
Children with a structure schedule and activities tend to fair better in life because of the discipline required to do what they want to do or are signed up to do for the summer which may not always be a child’s first choice but becomes the best choice especially if the parents are working.
This doesn’t mean that children without structure can’t fair better but it can be challenging if they have never experienced self discipline and following directions from authorities responsible for them. Most times an undisciplined adult rearing children will struggle putting structure and discipline in place and it can be difficult to gage that 0 to 100 real quick response when interacting with the children. And with the understanding that children aren’t bad just very busy. However, if busy is hitting others, throwing classroom furniture, or inflicting harm on themselves or others can become a huge problem if not addressed and or coping skills are not put in place it usually starts off with use your words to express your frustration, anger and or disappointment, and this takes time to learn as both the child and the care giver are learning one another and developing a trusting relationship. Note sometimes this is an easy process and other times it may take more in-depth research into the issues. It could be the child or it could be the staff many don’t want to admit it but often times children will act out if not heard, understood and or lied too especially if they have been exposed to the system. It all plays a part and can make parenting frustrating, a struggle to fine the right help for their child and needs room for play of experimental task to identifying a solution.
We don’t feel that any child is ever bad and that some get dealt a messy hand from the door but how can we get parents on board to help them help themselves to become better in parenting life and pursing their dreams if they even have a dream. Today the children as well as parents appear to have very little excitement about life. It’s as if the things that have taken place has them in an unenthusiastic place. No dreams aspirations and or desires of what life they like to live. Just accepting the life they are living never having conversations about what life would look like as they grow. Do they want to go to continue their education after high school, working for themselves or working for someone. Asking a child these questions is a process of consistent repetition because they know when I see Mr. or Mrs whoever, they are going to ask me questions about my future and this will at least plant the seed of thoughts of their future. Even if they never see themselves leaving the home base with their parents. They still need a plan as to how they will survive in the world outside their parents and or care giver if warranted as we know there are speacial circumstances where the child ever leaving the home will not happen without the proper services in place to help them get on the path.
The point is that as parents we never know what we are going to get and it’s our duty to rear the best children we can, provide them the knowledge need to help them survive this world as we know through cultural differences and history some children are taught early about the dangers that are in the world and instructed how to respond to them when or should they accuse.
Parenting isn’t easy nor is it a one way type deal. Successful parent has many component to it as well as key players that also help in the rearing of the children and like the old folks say, “If your child can’t be disciplined don’t send them here”. You know a grandmother auntie uncle that has quoted this line in you life time and you understand perfectly where they are coming from. However you parenting style it doesn’t have to be just one way it could be a combination of them all but be very careful with that as it could send the wrong message to the children.
As parents we want to keep our children safe, clean, loved and cared for with us and their time away from us. It really does take a village to rear the children as many of us are a living product and testimony to the fact. The only way to save our children is to come to some point where we are taking responsibility for our children and child rearing that provides skills and tools that will equip them to deal with life and to be more responsive then reactive. Let’s do our best to keep our children safe this summer. Let’s provide the best summer experience for them while still teaching them everyday life skills that will benefit them in their future. This will help alter this microwave mentality and get them to begin thinking for the long term. Please allow them time to process and figure things out for themselves so they can begin to practice making better decisions for their life while they are still with you and you will worry but not as much because you know you taught them all that they needed from the home base perspective because they still will have to go out into the world and make their mark in it. They will make mistakes just as we have but with communication daily family interaction of activities to explore these talks will help them as they are going along. The next time your in a child’s company ask them what do you want to be when you grow up? See what they say, if they have an answer and or clue. There will be some with lots of dreams of who they want to be so with them you have to get them to think deeper. What will you need to do that? If they know see how much they know if the don’t have a clue great research project to suck up some productive time over these summer days,
The children really are our future and it’s our responsibility to ensure they have all that they need but with the world changing and changing fast as parents we have to keep up with the new happens and get involved so that we can help our children along the way. As you see world leaders are meeting and discussing plans and the state of the world since the beginning of time and their decisions impact the very lives we live. So why are we not having discussions around how we want our future to be so we can participate on our own rescue verse the planning of those heading countries placing things in place and changing our world everyday as we know it You figure world leaders have been planning and discussions the world state of affairs for many years and they have put a lot of things in place that we just go right along with because the truth of the matter is we may hear something about what’s coming next say 1994- 2015 and today in 2022 they are in place and being carried out. This is something we all are guilty of and once it’s in place and has impacted our life in some way we then decide to speak up. So why don’t we speak when it’s being discussed? Do we even know where to begin to at least present our case on the matter or invited to join the discussion. Often times no, unless you in those types of arena’s where this information is discuss like the weeks sports show we never really know.
The future and how we are moving in it appears to be very scary if your listening to the news and studying the information for yourself. It doesn’t make it less scary but it does allow you an information base to work from to better prepare yourself and your family for things that are in place right now as we speak that are changing how we will be moving forward in the world. Remember you don’t have to know it all but you must be will do find out as much as you can to better prepare yourself as much as possible.
They have been talking about the end of the world for many centuries and today is no different. Developing a relationship with your higher power, preparing as best you can for any sorts of emergencies that have possibly of taking place is the best we can do as many of the things taking place are beyond our control and there’s nothing we can do about yet there’s plenty we can do about it. Working together to create and prepare for a better tomorrow is the key. It’s beyond the color lines because the world is suffering and it show’s in the changing dynamics of services as well as service providers and this is due to the change in nationality race, sex, age gender and creed of our nation so it’s a world problem because no one or any group is exempt. And the time to take action, build your life, career, life dreams and desire has to be equivalent in structure to make sure that you and your family will be in the have’s and not the have’s not category.
What can you do as a parent to position yourself better for the future? What will the future look like for you based off the information you gather? Do you know the time it will take to implement, apply and follow through to the steps that is your idea of better?
Parenting is a huge responsibility one that should never be taken lightly. Know the facts around your rights as a parent and teach your children their rights as well so that everyone is on the same page. One careless circumstances and or situation could change your life completely forever if your not in the right frame of mind to get through the challenges that could come. Age of the parent does play a part but research shows that a young parent can have the ability to parent like an older parent. Keeping their children safe, clean, feed, active and progressive. Just know the things worth having in life is going to require some commitment and dedication along with work and don’t you believe your children are worth it? Heck do you believe that your worth it?
Have a blessed amazing summer everyone enjoy life to the fullest. Let nothing get in the way of your dreams. As we prepare to send our children off to college, summer programs, family travel and activities and more. You worked hard to get where you are presently so don’t stop now. Keep going if you like where you are now imagine where you will be in 5 to 10 years from now. What will it look like? What will you be doing? How will the actions you take today impact your life in 5 to 10 years?
Just food for thought, too many times we take things lightly and we shouldn’t but we’re not here to tell you what to do. We are here to help you think just a little deeper and think of all the possibilities life has to offer you all that can make your life a little better today so that tomorrow it can be greater.
Please leave a comment and or review, follow us on social media, listen to our Podcast we love to hear from you. Happy life planning and remember you only get one so make it the best one ever.